What I Miss

From "This Sober Life"

When I look at everything in
black and white
I might be missing some things
but I figure I did this right.
So what if I miss laughing with all my friends
or miss feeling like I fit in.
I might miss staying up until night turns into day
and I might miss cold beers on sunny days.
I miss rum and I miss schnapps
but I also miss Derek and I don't miss cops.
I don't miss courts and I don't miss cells,
don't miss feeling like killing my self.
I sure don't miss crying in bed all night,
don't miss worrying about paying fines,
don't miss hangovers or morning regret,
don't miss calling, saying, "Bail me out dad."
Even though I miss not worrying about my life
or not having to wonder, "Am I doing this right?"
I don't miss asking, "Did I say that?"
I don't miss crying on train tracks,
don't miss not knowing where to start,
don't miss questioning, "Am I falling apart?"
I don't miss counting prescription pills,
don't miss wondering, "Would this jump kill?"
I don't miss being angry and not knowing why,
don't miss yelling up to God, "Just let me die!"
I don't miss not sleeping night after night,
don't miss not having an appetite.
I don't miss puking and I sure don't miss quitting,
I figure by now you get the point that I'm setting.

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